“Your village is coming…”
On Saturday May 12th, 3 days after Josie was born, that was the text I received from my mother that sent me into tears. It had been a long week. I went into early labor Monday, by Tuesday my water had broke, we delivered Wednesday evening, Thursday I still had adrenaline running through me so I wasn’t phased by the fact that I hadn’t slept since Sunday, and on Friday we went home. That first night home was by far one the hardest nights of my life. I was encourgiaing my husband to sleep because all I could do was feed the baby and one of us needed to be rested to make some rational thoughts the next day. Once the fog of the first couple weeks lifted, I looked back on text messages and realized my mother stayed up texting me the whole night. Endless questions, should I give her pacifier? what about formula? I am scared she’s hungry…my mom was right there. My mother, my village. I felt such relief when the sun came up Saturday morning. I made coffee, the baby had finally slept for two hours, and we had survived our first night home. But I was still weepy, sleep deprived, and recovering from a very intense labor and delivery (more on that later).
My mom and sister drove to us and that night they slept in shifts and woke me only to feed and then sent me back to bed. It was exactly what I needed to feel human again, my husband too. Just one night of sleep after a week of very little.
Three months after Josie was born I look back and think about how grateful I am for our village. From my mom, siblings, sisters – in-law, in-laws, and friends adjusting to new life as parents is hard and we felt so supported in our transition. My baby blues stuck around a little longer than normal (more on that soon too) and without our village this journey would have seemed impossible. My sister in law stayed with our dog, her wife would just came and kept me company when I was too scared to be alone, my mom never took more than three minutes to respond to a text, and that was only a small glimpse of the support received. In the moment the hardest thing for me was setting aside pride to admit I needed help. I was the best mom before I became one. I wanted to be able to “handle this”. With plans in place, and bassinets set up, nothing can prepare you for the first days home with a baby. The one thing that I was so thankful for were the mom blogs. When you are delirious, feeling helpless, and have so many questions I found it so comforting to know I was not alone. The internet can be a scary place but it can also be a helpful place. I hope my blog can bring comfort to others when they are sitting up at 2 am fighting to stay awake seeking advice and stories to know they are not alone in this. We hope to be a part of your village.