Will I be breastfeeding forever?
Right now I sort of think yes! I mean I know it won’t be forever, but I am starting to wonder if my “she’ll wean when she’s ready plan” is starting to expire. My goal was to try breastfeeding. Trying turned into three months, three months turned into making when she started food, and once we hit nine months the goal changed to making it to a year. At 11 months old she started to self wean and all my stars were aligned. I had enough of a stash to make it and I was so ready to be done nursing and pumping. And then a stomach bug hit her and she started right back up again! This all coincided with my summer break (I am a teacher) and it felt like I was back in the newborn phase. Nursing on demand, nursing in the middle of the night, and no sign of weaning in sight.
Now I am back to work and without her “milky” on demand she seems fine in my absence. She napping well and is totally off bottles. She will nurse in the morning and when I get home in the evening. She will also nurse before bed. The night feedings have stopped and here I am hoping she will start to lose interest again. She isn’t getting much (I am not pumping or producing much) so it mostly for comfort. The plus is that she is still getting breast milk well into her second year. The downside, I am over it! I have hopes of having another baby, maybe soon, and know that this cycle will start all over again. For a short time I would just like my body back.
I still wish that she would make the call. I always said I wanted her to lead the way. I am still following that lead but starting think I may have to take the first step to this weaning process. Breastfeeding my daughter has been the hardest, most demanding thing I have ever done. It has also been beautiful and sacred. I am taking one day at a time for now and still have my fingers crosses that she will take the lead. But man, I am ready to be done!